OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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