We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My ass is underappreciated
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
