How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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