if i can run in heels then i can drive
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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