so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
