you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
