Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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