I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
