Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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