Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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