You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
