i just had sex bonerless
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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