fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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