In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
