Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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