oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can text with my tongue
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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