Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
