Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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