she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
