He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
