We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
