You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
