Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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