I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
