HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
