OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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