It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
