i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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