you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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