11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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