is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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