Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
