I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
