I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
then he tried to convert me to islam
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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