We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
