the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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