All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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