Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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