And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
