It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
