I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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