I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
