Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
