Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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