You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
