I'm really into asian looking animals
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
