i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
