Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
