wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
