i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the condom got lost in my hair
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
