Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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