Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
