were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
