its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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