I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
